I saw Assassin's Creed recently on TV and it was ridiculously bad. The acting was fine, the production values were fine, meaning the special effects were fine, but even so, Assassin's Creed was so bad I couldn't believe it. I like the actor Michael Fassbender, and he did a good job of acting, but the premise of the movie was nothing but ridiculous. And the plot wasn't any better. The movie had the Knights Templar as the heavies, and they wanted to control the world.
How? By obtaining the "Apple of Eden." What? Well, we're supposed to believe that the apple is some kind of alien device that was used to give people free will back in the day. So by acquiring it, you can take away said free will.
Really? So it's not really an apple then. They call it an apple, I suppose, because it's about the size of an apple. It's clearly metallic and not edible, but the thing is they never explain just how a metallic apple is supposed to give or take away anyone's free will, let alone the entire population of a planet. They do say the seeds of the apple can take away people's free will. But wait. We know that the apple is not really an apple. I suppose that's a good thing because if it was and it's been around since the days of the Garden of Eden, then it would be an awfully rotten apple.
But how does a metallic machine have seeds? And how can seeds give or take away free will? It was never explained. Nor hinted at. So the assassins are the guardians of this apple. And we get to see the ancestor of Michael Fassbender and his girlfriend kill more Spanish soldiers in this movie than Luke Skywalker and Han Solo kill Stormtroopers in all of the Star Wars movies combined.
At least the old time assassins do get killed fighting for and hiding the apple, which all takes place in the year 1492. Well that's a familiar date. It brings to mind the ocean blue and images of Christopher Columbus (who was NOT in the movie, btw.)
So using a machine that looks like a fancy bungee jumper machine makes the modern Michael Fassbender relive his ancestor's actions from back then, which allows the bad guys the opportunity to learn what his ancestors did with this "apple." And speaking of Columbus, although the man wasn't in the movie, his final resting place was, and that's where they find this "apple" which is handed over to the bad guys by whoever was the caretaker of the place.
There were so many holes in this plot it would take me too long to list them, but you get the idea that with a premise and plot like this there will be holes all over the place and there were.
I still don't get just how an ancient apple-sized machine takes everyone's free will away. And the reason why the Templar Knights want everyone's free will taken away, (they say) is to stop all violence and war. Hmmnn... Good luck with that. Like I said. the premise was ridiculous.
Needless to say, at the movie's conclusion the modern Michael Fassbender decides to assume the assassin responsibility of his ancestor and retrieves the apple from the bad guys, and he's the new guardian of the apple, or alien device, or whatever it is. They never even revealed if anyone actually knew how to work the darn thing. It did shine some when the bad guys were reveling in their acquisition of it. But heck, light bulbs shine too. So what?
None of that worked for me. I'd need to see or at least learn something from the dialogue just how a shining machine the size of an apple can give or take away anyone's free will, and then allow a secret society to control the world by preventing violence and wars from happening anywhere on the planet.
Look, I know the whole thing was a video game for little kids. I never played it. But then again, I don't play any video games. My sons do. They play Madden, and sometimes COD, but never Assassin's Creed. I think Assassins Creed came for free in one of the video-game-player boxes, but my kids never played it as far as I know.
All in all, Assassins Creed allowed for some good action sequences, special effects, and choreography, but the plot and premise were bad from the start. I mean the very start. You know how some movies will start out with some text to explain the premise? That's what this one did, and from that point I was thinking, it didn't t make any sense. Well it didn't. And it never did.
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